Horrifying stationery (via Boing Boing)

There’s a post on Kottke.org today titled The SiM&Mpsons which links back to (and has reminded of) Brock Davis’s ‘Make Something Cool Every Day [in] 2009′ lifework. This entry from 20th February, Decowpitation, is a personal favourite thanks to the child-like milk-for-blood philosophy (and my own penchant for inappropriate toys, probably), but there are many more gems to discover.

Bob’s Murder Book via Space Avalanche via my old boss, D-Man, on Facebook, via his nephew, Sean. Word.

Being as this is a mousetrap, the most painful finger punisher in the world, and would take your fingernail clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I really need to turn the light on? Well, do ya, punk?

Switch me (via Cribcandy(and Dirty Harry, just because))

There’s an old wives’ tale – and a constant in-joke between funny parents – about slipping a dash of booze into a baby’s bottle to aid (or force) sleep. Anyone stupid enough to take it literally obviously deserves to go directly to jail, without passing Go, Free Parking or even Old Kent Road. Whiskey Toothpaste, on the other hand, could be the answer. “Rinse with soda.” Genius.

Whiskey Toothpaste ad from House & Garden magazine, 1961 (via Boing Boing)

Created by artist Margaux Lange who evidently takes enormous pleasure (and a living) from cutting up Barbie and her boyfriend Ken to make necklaces, brooches and bracelets for very, very sick individuals. This one looks a bit like my old Ski Ken (sob)…

Artist Dismembers Barbie, Turns Body Parts Into Disturbing Jewelry (via ecouterre)

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BadParent: Creepy baby hand soap
BadParent: Doll Eyeball Removal Tool

Received the following email from HMV this morning:

Hi Thomas,
You asked us to let you know when Twin Peaks: Season 2: 6dvd: Box Set : Tv Series: Kyle Maclachlan: Piper Laurie was ready to pre-order.

Good news!

Twin Peaks: Season 2: 6dvd: Box Set : Tv Series: Kyle Maclachlan: Piper Laurie has just been added to our catalogue, so you can be the first to get your order in now.

Release date: 22/3/2010, catalogue number: 8261037, label: Playback, price £37.99 (RRP £49.99).

Obviously the twisted nature of David Lynch’s Twin Peaks puts this firmly in the BadParent category for the purposes of this blog but, come on… it’s been 19 years. Bring. It. On.

Pre-order Twin Peaks Season 2, Region 2, 6xDVD boxset on HMV, right now.

Obviously someone, somewhere has a need for this torture device doll eyeball removal tool but enough already with the graphic imagery. Yeesh…

Easy out! Best reborn eyeball-removing tool i’ve found (via Boing Boing)

The whole concept of a bar of soap in the shape of a decapitated baby hand is, quite simply, wrong. Available on Etsy for $18, they’re made from “natural vegetable glycerin”, have a “very very light scent” and are “completely handmade, so each set is slightly different with different hand-shapes & skin-ish colors.” Judging by the fingers of the darkest hand on the second row of the picture below, that ’slightly different’ claim is somewhat of an understatement.

Handsoap set by Foliage on Etsy (thanks, Chris and Chris’s Mrs)

An obvious BadParent contender, if it wasn’t for the unrelenting fact that this is clearly the greatest wallpaper ever made.

Skull Wallpaper – Bronze Flock on Oil Slick. The signature paper featuring skulls in a reflective bronze, deep pile velvet on a incredible light-catching, iridescent base, using horribly expensive ink which changes colour as you walk past it – through reds, greens, blacks and golds – like an oil slick. Printed on non-woven paper.

Skull Wallpaper from Rockett St George (via Cribcandy)